Monday, January 28, 2013

Beginnings

Most of us don't end up being what we thought we would be when we were kids.
Nurse...
Olympic gymnast...
Veterinarian...
Even when I got to college, I couldn't seem to make up my mind.
Teacher.
Midwife.
Pilot (I actually got my private pilot's license).
Dietitian.
Pilot (again).
Wellness Manager.  That's the one I actually got my Bachelor's and Master's degree in. 
Just as I was finishing up my Master's degree (3 weeks before) I started feeling unwell.  I had only been married for 3 months.  Thanksgiving had just passed.  A month later, after losing 30 pounds, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease.  I had always tried to be really healthy.  I had never had any major health problems.  And here I was, struggling with how to deal with this.  I was mad at God at first.  I was young.  I tried to be a good Christian.  I was just beginning my adult life.  I couldn't understand how God could let this happen to me.  God ended up speaking to me through the book Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning.  Its an amazing read and will either make you fall in love with God for the first time, or fall in love with him all over again.
Three months after my diagnosis I went to a Third Day concert.  Their song, "Mountain of God" brought tears to my eyes and actually made me thankful to God.  I realized my life had been going at such a hectic pace that I really hadn't had that much time for God.  This illness had forced me to slow down and take stock of my life.  The journey hasn't been easy.  It had created challenges that I never thought I would have to deal with.  I have found that when I have nothing else to hold onto, God is always there.  I am thankful for all I have because, truly, things could be much, much worse.  God has blessed me amazingly.  My health, while not perfect, has improved and I am in remission.  I have a loving husband and a home and food and water.  This blog is about the things I am thankful for and the things that bring joy to my life.